


Neil Lagorio Movie Review Month

by melangerubin



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Body Horror, Bugs & Insects, Canon-Typical Violence, Claustrophobia, Depression, Horror, In-universe movie review, Loss of Control, Murder, Other, Transformation, implied Michael - Freeform, implied emotional abuse, murder mention, the mechanisms references, this is not going to end well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:14:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24855925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melangerubin/pseuds/melangerubin
Summary: Hi guys! Welcome to my YouTube channel where I'll review all of Neil Lagorio's movies! My friend Gabe has given me previously lost director's cuts of the movies and I can't wait to share this with you all!
Comments: 11
Kudos: 31





	1. Prelude, or "What The Agents of Orion Found In The Labyrinth of the Minotaur From Beyond Time."

“What’s up, guys! Welcome to Neil Lagorio month, where we’re talking about the work of special effects wizard Neil Lagorio!” She smiled at the camera and waved, winked, and clapped. She’d gotten quite good at this whole YouTube thing, and hey, it paid better than doing the occasional movie review in the papers. The green screen behind her wobbled slightly as she began to do a second take of the intro. 

“What is up, guys!” Excited clap. “Welcome to…” Dramatic pause. “Neil Lagorio month!” Remix of the theme from Under New York. “We’re going to do a deep dive into the work of special effects wizard and auteur Neil Lagorio!” Green screen transition from abandoned warehouse to corridor. “Yes, this entire month is going to be aaall about Neil, beginning to end, highs to lows!” Excited clap, point at camera, wink.  
“At the end of it all, we’re gonna do a retrospective on Neil himself! Consider that one of the five mini-documentaries I promised doing this year, Patrons!”

“My friend Gabriel has lent me his entire collection of director’s cut editions! They’re super rare! Shout out to Gaaabe!” Air horn sound effect.  
“Right, we’re starting strong with that classic 70’s movie Labyrinth of the Minotaur!” Bull roar sound effect. 

“Allright! It’s certainly… very 70’s! The stop motion, while some of Neil’s earliest work, is pretty decent! You can tell that Neil is starting to come into his own here, as well.. The minotaur is the only memorable thing about the movie! Just, mwah!”  
Chef’s kiss.  
“It’s so lifelike, and is still today some of the finest stop motion pieces made. In my opinion! That’s my.”  
Extreme close up.  
“Opinion.”  
Zoom out.  
“See you all the day after of tomorrow, when we do the double feature… ”  
Beat, schlocky theremin music starts playing. “Agents of Orion and Beyond Time!”

“Greetings, friends! Welcome back to Neil Lagorio Month!” Very excited clap, wink, point at camera. 

“We’ve just finished Agents of Orion, and I can just say, wow! That robot, huh? That robot, though! It still amazes me! Like, the animatronic is so good, that modern CGI looks like a kid playing with her toys! Obviously it’s a bit of a riff on Frankenstein but I loved how the director managed to subvert expectations with the doctor being reanimated by her creation as punishment for what she did! The robot is an absolute showstealer, not only as one of Neil’s finest pieces of work, but as one of scifi-horror’s best anti-villains. Ever! You can quote me on that!” 

“Beyond Time is one of the weirdest movies I’ve ever seen! Ok so, plot synopsis. An evil emperor has been hiding on one of the moons, and has built a giant cannon that threatens to explode the Earth. But the Earth forces go back through time with the help of a hellish steam train that rips open time-space continuum and the steampunk soldiers fight roman legionaries with rayguns on the moon! As I said, it’s wild. The first time the train absolutely violates reality is one of the best effects in the movie, and I can still feel how it made me feel! It was like seeing the back of your own eyes while they’re still in your sockets. I could swear that my guts were trying to escape from inside my body. It’s a gorgeous and horrifying effect, and I still wonder how Neil managed to make those animations where the soldiers are actually turned inside out while still alive, all while still fighting the moon men legionaries.” 

“If there are any two movies you should see back to back, in my opinion it’s these two. They really work well together, despite their differences. You can really tell that Neil loved working on the effects on these two movies, they’re so extravagant and lifelike, I had to keep checking imdb if they really were released in the 70’s!” 

“Well, check back in tomorrow for another double creature feature, when we talk about Under New York and The Crawling Ones!”


	2. A peek behind the green screen, or “The Crawling Ones Under New York”

The reviewer stands in front of the green screen, fumbling with the script. She looks distraught and tired. She rubs her eyes, she might’ve been crying. She walks close to the camera to pin the script over it. Deep breath, there’s the sound of someone off camera laughing. She exhales, straightens up, looks into the camera and starts talking. 

“Hello, internet! Welcome back to Neil Lagorio Month! Let’s dig…” Wink into camera “... into today’s double feature!”

Green screen transition into generic subway.

“You all know me, I’m not one for claustrophobic movies, but Under New York is one of the few that I can stand to watch! This cut Gabe gave me had some extra scenes, where the heroine reporter investigating missing persons in the subway system Under New York.” Title drop effect fade in. Wink. “I really love the never before seen scene where she walks down what seems like an neverending subway cart! It was so evocative and reminds me of that final scene in Tarkovsky’s Nostalghia, where the writer tries to cross a pool with a lit candle. Nine minutes! A nine minute unbroken shot!! But yeah, it really felt like the reporter was walking for hours, the stress, the quiet resignation and despair on her face as she keeps walking past increasingly distorted and messed up subway cars. And let me tell you! This cut doesn’t cut away when she has to reach in and retrieve her camera, you can really tell this actress gave it her all as she sobs and cries. I wonder how they got her so into the role..”

Green screen transition, bugs crawls in from the side. 

“Aah! It’s The Crawling Ones!” Generic horror movie scream and aghast emoji face. Slightly less energetic. Black bags under her eyes. Slightly forced smile.   
“You know me, I love me some creepy crawlies! This movie might be one of the more… loose adaptations of Kafka’s “The Metamorphosis”, with the twist here being that Gregor thinks he’s the one who’s turned into a bug, but it’s actually his family who’s bug people now! This extended cut really lingers on their experiences, and god, here we can really see why we still respect Neil’s craft! I wonder how he got those lovely textures on the bugpeople, they look so lifelike and emotive. I especially love the mysterious red bowler hat wearing neighbour! We never get a proper look at him, so he’s more hinted at. All we really see is the aforementioned red bowler hat, and he always stands in the doorway, backlit. He makes for quite the striking visual. He’s also the closest we get to a villain, as it seems like he arranged the entire situation. All in all, one of my personal best!” Snappy finger guns at the camera, “woaaw2.mp3” plays. 

“Well, Lagorio Gang, see you all tomorrow when we’ll discuss Dead Sky and The Nightmare children!”

Zoom out. She stands in front of the green screen. She looks more tired than before, the forced smile fading. The studio is covered with thrashed equipment and littered with paper and trash bags. The reviewer looks to the left and seems to be talking to someone. She sits down, buries her face in her hands and starts sobbing hard.


	3. “Return Of The Nightmare Children Of Dead Sky”

The reviewer shuffles her script, looks nervously off screen. Sighs, squeezing the bridge of her nose. Zoom in. Runs her hands through her hair. Zoom in. She looks into the camera, she seems surprised it’s on. She looks questioning off screen again. Zoom out. She walks towards the camera, places the script next to the camera. Zoom out. She walks to the center of the green screen.

She takes a deep breath, starts to say something. She trails off, takes another deep breath. 

Intro. Remix of the theme to _Under New York._

“Hey guys. It’s Neil Lagorio month. It’s _Dead Sky_ today.”

She stops, looks to her right. She nods slowly.

“What’s up, guys! It’s Neil Lagorio month! Today we’re doing… _Dead Sky_! Not one of my personal faves, but I know it has got its hardcore fans! Trust me, I’ve seen your comments! Ok, plot synopsis! So, we’re following a couple on a road trip. It’s never explicitly stated but I think the most common interpretation is that they’re having a rough spot, and they’re trying to patch it up. They’re driving up a mountain in the middle of the night, and suddenly.” Suspenseful music. “The sky just.. goes dark! A pretty simple set up but goddamn, it’s effective! They keep on driving up the mountain, trying to find the hotel they’re going to. It’s really a minimalistic character study, as we keep being privy to their relationship and the stress they’re under. I really appreciate the extended sequence where they stop the car and start walking into the pitch black forest, and we only basically only hear them talking to each other, as they apparently drift further and further apart, not only physically but also emotionally! And after that, they just.. show up at the car again! I know I gushed about the long shot in the subway in Under New York, but this trumps it. There’s also a beautiful shot dream sequence where this gigantic humanoid walks over them, and every time you think you can figure out exactly how big it is, and you just… can’t! The model work here is so expressionistic and evocative! It absolutely filled me with dread each time after that, blurring the line between dream and reality, as each time the couple see it they just break or stop walking but never talk about it. I like reading it as a metaphor for their relationship and how they can’t really communicate about their wants and needs! Absolutely one of the greats!”

The reviewer stops talking and forces a smile at the camera. Zoom in. She keeps smiling and not blinking. Zoom in. She hasn’t slept in days. Zoom in. It’s starting to show. Zoom in. She just want to be done, this stopped being fun a few days ago but she can’t stop now. Zoom in. She promised Gabe. Zoom in. Zoom in. Zoom. In. We’re closer than what should be possible. She still hasn’t blinked.

“All right! _The Nightmare Children_! I didn’t use to like this one, as creepy children really isn’t my bag of tea, so to speak. But this extended cut really sells the unsettling nature of these horrible kids! So, a rich family hires a private tutor for their twins, and listen, I know the saying, never work with kids and animals, but these kids are naturals! They never outright do anything, but the slow creeping dread starts to set in the longer the tutor stays and starts to notice that they always seem to know what he dreamt the night before. The two kids really sell their lines as they imply things, hinting at that they’re going into his dreams. And when the tutor starts to push back and walk into theirs? That sudden shift in power dynamic, the realisation that passes over their faces when they see the tutor open the door and start hunting them down the never ending corridors? Suddenly we realise that they’re just kids again, and they’re really out of their depth when met with a more callous and aggressive person with similar powers to their own? And now they got to escape, running through hallways that twist and seem way too small one second and the next they suddenly grow so extremely large they can’t see the edges of it. Also? The actor playing the tutor is real cute! I love his open face and blonde curly hair! Though they could’ve dialed down the effect on his laugh. All in all, another great movie. Oh! Spoilers for the twist. Forgot to mention that. My bad!”

Audience_hollering.wav. Zoom out.

“Well guys! Come back next time when I’ll talk about _Forty Winks_ and everyone’s favourite, _Toy Shop!”_

Zoom out. Zoom out. She sits down, exhausted. She’s been sweating profusely, and the set looks eveb more untidy than it did yesterday. She crumples up the script and throws it hard to her right. She stands up, screams, throws her chair in the same direction before storming off in the opposite direction.


	4. “The Toy Shop On Forty Winks”

The reviewer looks at the papers in her hands. She can’t seem to read them as her finger gently trail over the same section over and over. She walks to her right, her body language seem to suggest that she’s talking or arguing with someone. She throws her hands up in the air and let the script fall down to the floor. She stands, staring at them. She sighs and picks up one page and places it next to the camera.

She takes a deep breath and stares into the eye of the camera that’s staring back at her.

Remix of the theme from  _ Under New York _ starts to play.

“Hey guys.” She’s saying it through gritted teeth, but her body language tries to remain peppy and upbeat.

“Welcome back to Neal Lagorio Month! Today we’re taking a look at  _ Forty Winks  _ and that all time cult classic  _ Toy Shop. _ ” Zoom in. She closes her eyes and as she does we see forty eyes behind her opening, and then wink at the camera. The eyes are from various movies and tv shows. 

The green screen fades away and we see an office in the background.

“You know, I never really got  _ Forty Winks _ until now. That creeping dread of being seen is just not what scares me. If it did, I wouldn’t be here, talking to thousands online! But this movie might’ve made me reevaluate some things! But let me start from the beginning.” Cassette_rewind_whirr.wav. The reviewer is rewound.

“ _ Forty _ is told through flashbacks, and time jumps forward and backwards in time. So one really has to be on their toes to get the whole story here. 

We follow some office workers going about their day, but slowly we start to realise that… something is off. There’s a tension between the four of them, as some.. unspecified event has made everyone on edge. One of them has also been promoted to team leader and he might’ve been the worst possible choice? He’s commanding and throughout the movie, he slowly descends into paranoia, absolutely certain that the others are out to “get him”. Meanwhile, their boss sits in his office in the middle of the floor and keeps constantly checking on them through surveillance cameras. Stylistically, it’s a quite minimal movie, with very little dialogue. The sets are a mix between the sets from early German silent films and a quite modern brutalistic look, with exposed concrete everywhere. We never feel welcome in this office, it’s as if it wants us out. I know this is quite the tired cliche but the office really is a character in it’s own right! I don’t wanna spoil this movie, like the trailers did when it was first released, but I’ll say this! The director’s cut has more scenes from the director’s office, and wow, we can really feel the sweaty paranoia as the team leader tries to get some answers from the director about the work they’re doing! I’m still surprised that i liked it as much as I did!”

She still hasn’t unclenched her jaw or broken eye contact with the camera. Remain on the wide angle shot.

Green screen transition to an old timey toy workshop.

“You know me, I absolute adore  _ Toy Shop _ ! I remember seeing it for the first time at a friend’s house during a sleepover. It was way too late and we were, truth be told, way too young.”

The reviewer looks like she’s about to fall over.

“It’s a quite simple revenge plot, as the old kind toy maker is killed by… these…”

She begins to trail off, her eyes glazing over. She snaps back after ten seconds of mumbling.

“He’s killed by two soldier shaped wolves and it’s up to the menagerie of wooden and plasticine toys to take bloody revenge. My favourite of these living dolls is the Ringmaster. It gives no other name, but it would very much like one. It’s something of an odd movie, as its tone is all over the place. Often it feels like two very different movies stitched together, one where the dolls are more innocent and not realising that people die when they’re killed, and one where they very much do know that and they think it’s hilarious that people die when they’re killed. One sequence that comes to mind is when they dress up in a trench coat to try and bluff their way into the wolf soldier’s base, and suddenly they get bored and just…” the reviewer trails off again.

“Any way! It’s an absolute hoot! A perfect entry point if you wanna see Neil work his magic with stop motion and puppetry!”

She smiles, wider than she should be able to. She winks, her eyes finally closing. 

“Well guys! We’ll see each other tomorrow when we’ll talk about  _ Orbit  _ and  _ Jewel of the Amazon _ ! Take care! Byye!”

She stops moving. The lights turn out and we can only make out shapes. We hear a deep thud and the shape that stood where the reviewer did keels over onto the floor. Another deep thud.

  
  
  



	5. Comment Section

BWpoetry one hour ago:

Hey, are you okay? :( I wouldn’t mind if you took a break!!! I’d understand, we all get stressed out! It’s ok to remove yourself from a project if you need to!!!

DexterBank4Ever two hours ago:

Will you do a retrospective on Dexter Banks movies soon? Ive been asking for years now

  
  


Cooldude69 three hours ago:

i love your reviews pls post more soon :)

Angrygamer replied to Cooldude69 two hours ago:

Fuck u

Expand replies (273)

Horror_cinema_reviews_05: four hours ago:

Hey I think youre movies reviews are really cool do u wanna do a collab? 

Don_Jones:replied to horror_cinema_reviews_05 three hours ago:

Aren’t you a little to young for this site L.O.L (laughing out loud)

a.cane four hours ago:

keep up the good work its always fun to see someone talking about ur fave sfx artist ::::)

Beach_bums four hours ago:

Hey guys follow our YouTube channel for updates on our new single “Surfin’ waves!”! Surfska 4ever brah...

Bob_army42069 five hours ago:

☻/

/▌

/\

This is bob. Copy and paste him so he can take over youtube.

thethearchersfan replied to Bob_army42069 fours hours ago:

Please stop spamming this. I’ve reported you for harassment.

NeilLagorioFan1975 five hours ago:

When will you do a review of  _ Under New York  _ ?

Edit: ok she has apparently already made a review of it please stop messaging me

  
  


Michael five hours ago:

shout out to gabe love you bro<3

Michael replied to Michael 10 hours ago: gabe is such a good friend u hope you two get alobg well

Angrygamer replied to Michael five minutes ago: alobg

  
  


JM1818 10 hours ago:

First

PL replied to JM1818 one minute ago:

Ok. 


	6. Orbit of the Jaguar

We see the reviewer, extreme wide angle. She’s laying in front of the green screen, her studio is in shambles. We can hear her groan softly. Remain on wide angle. From her right we see a figure approach. The figure is short and has what seems like unproportionally long arms. They squat down next to the reviewer and it appears that they’re saying something to them. She lifts her head and nods, the figures walks out of the shot. They come back with a chair that they place a few metres in front of the camera. The reviewer is trying to stand up and gets on her feet with some help from the figure. She sits down, stare into the eye of the camera. And she begins.

“Hey guys. Welcome back to Neil Lagorio Movie Review Month.” 

Remix of the theme from Under New York plays.

“Today we’re looking at a real stinker. Orbit. Wow. This movie hasn’t aged well. It didn’t do that well when it came out, hasn’t gotten better.” Laughtrack_03.wav.

Green screen transition into the deep vastness of space. We can see tiny pinpricks in the background.

“So. Plot synopsis. It’s a space station in orbit around Earth, and the actor Juan de Gran Temor really wanted those horror big bucks, as he does one last brave effort to stay relevant. But I digress. Juan is trapped on this gigantic space station owned by a shady corporation, and it isn’t quite clear what the purpose the station has. All we know is that The Line Manager is out to get him. Neil really tried his best here, but somehow he messed up the feet on the giant robot. As Juan desperately tries to reach the command center, he is hounded by The Line Manager who keep tracking him down. It’s basically a Terminator rip-off, but add more vents and shouting. Normally I’d give it a low low score but this extended edition really upped the score. It has a scene where de Gran Temor is crawling through a vent and manages to see out into space. And then he realise just exactly how big and vast the station is. The robot doesn’t even do that much in the director’s cut, but we did get some cool shots of it trying to comprehend the vastness as well!”

The reviewer looks exhausted. Sweat is pouring over her brow and it looks like she is about to keel over again.

Green screen transition into jungle. ambient_jungle_no_monkey.wav starts to play.

“Jewel of the Amazon. The director, Emma Zai, really knows how to build tension. We go this entire movie stalked by The Jaguar, and yet we so rarely see it. All we really get are glimpses and hints that it’s lurking around in the bushes. And goddamn, is it effective. The pacing is wonderful, and it might be one of the best movies Neil worked on. I read some interview he did, and I don’t know if the translation got bungled but he keeps talking about how “it just wasn’t done yet” and he seems quite upset about the jaguar. He didn’t go into specifics but if he was referring to the uncanny valley nature of the jaguar, I personally loved it. Especially in the longer cut! We get to see more of the jaguar and how stiffly it moves. Might not be natural but it adds such a deep sense of dread, seeing it choppily run after the research crew. I don’t know how they disguised the gore squibs that activated when the Jaguar pounced on the cameraman but Neil was the best for a reason!

Well, that’s all I got today! Check in tomorrow when we do a triple feature on The Wire Runner, Eagle Falls and The Harvestmen! Take care!”

Zoom in. She hasn’t blinked. Her smile, wide as it is, hasn’t reached her eyes yet. She’s challenging the eye of the camera to blink first. We can clearly hear laughter coming from offscreen. Zoom in. Her eyelid is twitching. It appears as if there’s dried clay caked around her eyes. Zoom in. We can see what looks like fingerprints in her skin, like marks left by a sculptor. It goes dark for a fraction of a second, and then we see the sudden realisation on her face. She screams.


	7. The Wire Running Harvestmen Of Eagle Falls

She sits in front of her laptop, her desk a messy labyrinth of papers, mugs, DVD cases and magazines. She feel in her fingers that she should write the last three reviews. But to do that she would have to watch them. She’s been losing time, weight and all connections to the outside. Her friends knows how she gets when she throws herself into an exciting project. Zoom in on her face.

“Best not to bother, deadlines and what not. She’ll let us know when she’s done.”

It had always been like that. No need to try to best in class, she just was. But now, now she had to watch three movies and then she was done. That was what Gabe had said. How had she met Gabe? It must’ve been at some networking event or maybe some con? Why was it so hard to put the memories in the right order? She tapped her keyboard, watching random key smashes appear on screen. Zoom in on screen.

It should have been random key smashing. 

Zoom in on screen and hold as sentences form.

Perhaps she felt some surprise the first time, but this wasn’t the first time this had happened. No, she had long since become adjusted to that her random key strokes twisted into short scripts for the reviews. She knew she couldn’t stop now. She sighed, and let her fingers run across the keys. Zoom out. 

She didn’t bother getting up, but instead leaned back and stared into the eye of the webcam.

“Hey. Neil Lagorio movie review month.”

Noise to her right. She slowly turns her head and starts talking to the obscured figure there.

“No, if I have to do this, I won’t pretend like I fucking like it. I’m so tired of being your goddamn marionette.”

She turns back to the webcam.

“Neil Lagorio movie review month.”

Hands clap together with an obvious eye roll.

“ _ The Wire Runner. _ It’s a bad CGI movie, only saved by the creature design. The extended scene where the “spider” shows the main character her plans through a series of phone calls are the only good parts.” Her voice is flat.

She turns to her right again.

“No, I refuse to talk about  _ The Wire Runner!  _ It was shit when it came out and it’s still shit. There’s no one who likes  _ Wire Runner _ and if they say they do, they’re liars, Gabe. What? Oh, of course you like it.”

She clicks onto the next script.

“ _ Eagle Falls _ . You know, this one is actually good. The creature design compliments the environmental protection storyline, and while they’re antagonistic, they’re never the outright villains. They’re more of a symptom rather than the actual illness.  _ Eagle Falls _ might be a little heavy handed when it comes to its villain and the actor is sometimes bordering on 80’s cheese, but it was quite refreshing to see such an awful and frankly despicable human met his gorey demise at the hands of the creatures he mutated. This extended cut really has some gorgeous scenes where the irradiated just crawl across the streets and meadows of the titular Eagle Falls. We really begin to sympathise with them just as they start their killing spree.”

She spins in her chair, throwing her hands up in the air.

“Alright, last one.  _ The Harvestmen. _ What seems like a pretty straightforward slasher really goes above and beyond. At first we think it’s one or two killers on the prowl, but slowly we begin to realise that the killers? It’s a whole family! That’s around the beginning of the second act, so when the real twist kicks in, that they’ve been harvesting the rest of the town to feed a massive  _ mouth _ ! It’s so cool to hear them gush and proselytise to the investigators. And the deleted finale where the converted investigator throws the one remaining survivor down the mouth? It’s bleak, it’s gorey, and it’s absolutely delicious.”

She looks to her right, as if she wants the figure’s approval. She shrugs, as if in response to some unheard comment. She turns back, and stares into the unblinking eye of the webcam. Zoom in. Her face twitches, but she fights the urge to scream. Zoom in. We can hear a notification pop up on screen. Zoom in.She breaks eye contact with the camera and we can she is reading it. Zoom in. Zoom in. Zoom in. We can see the words “Casting Call” and “Dancer” reflected on her eyes. We can see a suggestion of a movement as the reviewer frowns, as if not comprehending the words in front of her.

We hear a meaty sound, as if head and desk connecting. Zoom out. We see Gabe, a smile too wide for his face, waving into the camera. 


	8. Comment section

Tim Stoker five minutes ago:

Hey, please contact me. I think i can help.

Alfred Grifter OFFICAL one hour ago:

Check out my new  [ single ](https://soundcloud.com/user-819365360)

Cooldude69 two hours ago:

Wow cool that you got a role in Dancer! Thats really cool!

NeilLagorioFan1975 two hours ago:

Wow, i love this new style you’re trying! It reminds me a lot of Dexter Banks!

thethearchersfan three hours ago:

☻/

/▌

/\

This is bob. Copy and paste him so he can take over youtube.

Michael three hours ago:

Shout out to Gabe

Michael replied to Michael five hours ago:

Loved aerial you in this Gabe 

Horror_cinema_reviews_05 four hours ago:

Hey i love ur reviews and the skits u do i live the effects will u post a tutorial on how to do them??

Beach_bums four hours ago:

Hey guys follow our YouTube channel for updates on our new single “Surfin’ waves!”! Surfska 4ever brah...

a.cane five hours ago:

I hope you don’t mind that i sent your resume to Neil! I think you’d work well with him on Dancer! ::::)

BWpoetry seven hour ago:

Hey please dm to let me know if you’re okay?

JM1818 ten hours ago:

First


	9. Dancer

Establishing shot. We see the reviewer in the middle of a room, empty apart from a wooden bench. She’s sat upon the bench. We can see that she’s wrapped up in some sort of strings or rope, extending to what would be the ceiling.

She’s in the center of the frame.

Slowly, we begin to zoom in. It’s near imperceptible, but after half a minute, it’s clear that we’re coming closer to her. Her arm slowly rises up in the air, her back stiffens. We can see some movement in the strings. Her other arm judders and shakes into position. Stiffly, she rises from the bench. We can hear the cracking of joints as she does. We have kept zooming in, we are about five metres in front of her. 

She’s still centered in the shot. We can see that the ropes are long strips of celluloid. She’s sways gently, we can only see her from the waist up. There’s something wrong with the ceiling.

Suddenly, with a jerky motion, she begins to dance. Her hands are posed as if she’s leading a waltz. We hear no music. The eye of the camera is stationary. The film strips leading to the ceiling lead her in and out of frame, her face a grotesque mask of stillness that’s betrayed by her panicked eyes. 

Hold the shot at five metres from the bench. We can see the reviewer dance further and further away from us, nearing the other side of the room. She dances out of frame, only to appear from behind the camera. She maintains eye contact with the camera.

The ceiling is oddly convex and its seems to go on forever.

Hold shot. The Dancer is led back to the bench by the film. We can see some gentle tugs from the Dancer, as if telling the strips she can do it on her own. She sits down. 

The screen fades to black as the word  _ Intermission _ appears against the void.

Extreme wide shot. It’s dusky, as if the brightness on the stage lights are turned down.Enter two clowns dressed as stereotypical librarians . One enters camera right, the other camera left. The Dancer still sits in the middle of the frame.They’re carrying pieces of scenery. They place down what turns out to be an old victorian building, made here out of wood and plaster. They nod at each other, and promptly walk into each other, dropping their oversized glasses to the floor. Promptly they manhandle them and manage to put on the wrong pair of glasses. They bow towards the eye of the camera , and walk into each other again before exiting the way they came. Fade to black.

Fade into a close of the Dancer’s face. Her lips are moving but we can’t make out what she’s saying. Her movements speed up until her mouth is a blur of opening and closing, lips separating far faster than any human body should be able to. We can see that’s she’s dancing. The ceiling follows her with it’s gaze. She’s holding a handheld camera, her other arm jerking into odd positions. She’s positioned in front of the scenery that the clowns brought in. It’s much larger up close. It shouldn’t be that large. 

Stationary camera. To camera right we can see the Dancer shaking and shuddering, her limbs a jerky blur. The strips of film twist and shake, it’s a miracle that they don’t twist into a giant knot. She grabs hold of the wooden scenery and drags it to the middle of the shot. She stands in front of the door, the strings making it seem like her chest is heaving with deep breaths. She hasn’t taken a breath in hours. Or days. How long has it been?

She walks calmly towards the eye of the camera, the ceiling staring at her. She comes to the camera, reaches for something behind it. Sudden she begins to spin, wrapping her in more and more celluloid. We can see that she holds a lighter in her right hand. She flips it open, runs the flame over her wrapped body. The film burns bright as she begins running toward the door. The fake building front seems impossibly huge, the ceiling following her every move. The camera follows her, just a few metres behind. 

Just as she come near the door, the screen turns pitch black. It keeps being black as words start to scroll from the bottom up towards the top of the frame.

A Neil Lagorio Production 

Starring

…

Isabelle Jones - The Reviewer 

Isabelle Jones - The Dancer

Disclaimer: This is a Work of Fiction… This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. But the Institute should be burned to cinders.

As the last words pass the top, we begin to hear something familiar as the screen is unchangingly dark.

“What is up, guys!” Excited clap. “Welcome to…” Dramatic pause. “Neil Lagorio month!” Remix of the theme from Under New York. “We’re going to do a deep dive into the work of special effects wizard and auteur Neil Lagorio!”


End file.
